Tired but alive.

I think a big part of getting old is that you get tired.

Tired in your heart, mainly. But also, tired in your legs.

Whoever ‘they’ is, once said that your legs go out beneath you, and that your heart goes out.

But when a new energy comes - sometimes I get a new energy after a meal, especially if I’ve gone without one for some time - you feel great. Ready to take on a new task.

But I realise that new energy is much like motivation. It’s a powerful thing, but too much of the great things in life are done when energy is low - when motivation is lacking. We really can’t rely on energy to get the important things done. Does anyone?

I’ve never relied on a good night’s sleep. They suck. They never come when you need them.

Much like doing the great things in life, you just have to do them with whatever it is you have left.

Often, sweet fuck all.

What are these great things? A curious night…