Two True Blue.

So there’s this story about two blokes at the beach, feet dug in sand and arses plonked on deck chairs; piss froths at their stubbies. Life is good.

The porky lad is named Mudflap who sports a hat, and another fella named John. Mudlap’s name came from the fact that he debuted a mullet from the age of three and it is yet to cease. The mullet, in turn, looks like a mudflap at the back of his head.

John is just John because his mother’s ex, prior to her husband, was named John and she always liked him more than his actual father so she decided to call her son John for the ex that the husband thought was called Darren. John’s dad is called ‘H’. Just the letter.

Mudlap and John often yabbered away till they’re red in the face - it was something of a past time. More of a contemporary time.

On this day, between them and the ocean, a metallic Orb appeared in front of them. It was blurry and wobbled in the air until it touched the sand, where it snapped into clarity.

‘Oath.’ John said.

‘Can’t park there, mate.’ Mudlap remarked.

The Orb was still and seamless, yet a rectangular hole appeared from the side and a bright blue light shone out of it, cast onto the sand. Two blue human-like figures walked out. They looked like Mudlap and John, but with large black eyes and a strong, almost singular brow. They were also naked.

‘Put your tackle away, mate.’ John said.

‘Public beach, mate.’ Mudlap added, and pointed to the left. ‘The nudes are down past the jetty.’

The Two-Blue figures stared at both Mudflap and John. They started to speak.

‘Flaub Flue Barh Dier.’ One of the figures said.

‘Mleair.’ The other added. They both spoke with a crackle and croak in their throats. Like how John would sound the morning after a bender.

John and Mudflap sat plonked firm, their faces now scrunched and contorted.

‘What in the absolute hell was that?’ John said.

‘Carn, fellas. English.’ Mudflap suggested.

The Two-Blue figures continued their stare, and around their temples, a pulsating vein began to emerge from the both of them. It glowed blue, and then their brows furrowed.

‘Gor.’ One said, and then, with the raising of its arm, toward both Mudflap and John - the glow from the vein in the temple travelled down Blue-Figure One’s neck, shoulder, and arm, until a beam burst from its open palm.

The burst, however, did not project like a firework, but rather, it appeared as a slow moving, sizzling blue orb, sparking and contorting, but progressively heading towards Mudflap and John.

‘Should we go?’ John asked.

‘Where?’ Mudflap asked.

‘Pub?’ John questioned, as though there be any other suggestion of a place to go.

‘Right.’ Mudflap agreed.

They both started from their deck-chairs, but the sizzling blue orb continued to travel closer.

‘It’s getting closer.’ Mudflap said as he folded his deck-chair.

‘Do we leave the beers?’ John asked before Mudflap and his mudflap spun around with a scowl.

‘You outta’ya bloody mind?’ He asked. ‘Listen here, mate. If you and I are going to relocate boys day, on the count of these two plonkers, then you best believe that the bloody beers are coming with us.’

John, at this point, was looking over Mudflaps shoulder. The sizzling blue orb had come so close, that it almost touched Mudflaps mudflap.

In fact, when Mudflap realised that John wasn’t paying attention, he spun around his head, causing his mudflap to touch the orb.

They both, in one flash, self-combusted, and died.

The orb vanished. And Blue-Figure One, lowered their arm.

To Be Continued…